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Q-talk 147 - Odds and Ends

Airline Humor

These bits of Airline Pilot Wisdom were submitted by Doug Humble:

-Asking a pilot what he thinks about the FAA is like asking a fire hydrant what it thinks about dogs

- An airline pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman

- The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as a copilot is a copilot who once was a captain

- Experience is gained through making mistakes. Mistakes are caused by lack of experience

- Hand-flying an ILS in a gusty crosswind is easier than adjusting the shower controls in a layover hotel

- A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister

- Most airline crew food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that's what it is

- Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes wrong.....then one pilot gets all the blame

- A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a dead body

- Standard checklist practice requires pilots to read to each other procedures used every day ...and recite from memory those needed once every five years.

- A crew scheduler has to be the kind of person who wakes his wife at midnight to carry out the garbage, then sends her back to let the cat in

- An FAA investigation is conducted by non-flying experts who take six months to itemize the mistakes made by a crew that had six seconds to react to the emergency.

- Unlike flight crew members, jet engines stop whining when the plane arrives at the gate

- Whoever said that pilots are Gods was dyslexic

- A good flight attendant says, "Good morning captain." A great flight attendant says, "It's morning, Captain"

- Pigs don't become pilots when they drink

- A dispatcher's desk has never run out of fuel

The following interesting links were submitted or shared on the Q-list:

John Loram posted an interesting aircraft design article located on the CAFE foundation blog:


Richard Kaczmarek submitted a link to the Virtual Airplane Museum:


Mike Dwyer posted a link for finding no ethanol fuel in the US:


Jerry Marstall posted a video link about the importance of checking Density Altitude:


Gord Givens posted a link to an article about wind turbine blade efficiency that was improved by looking at whale fins: